Life (*last entry)

Back to the Mirror

Sometimes in life we do all the hard yards, and by this I mean we face our fears, understand them, be mindful how they have woven themselves into our belief system, deconstructed them, and rebuilt ourselves to a point where we can see through the bullshit with ease. You get to a point where you know you have arrived at a peaceful interlude, where you feel you might just now be rewarded with a little miracle or a morsel of happiness that is not an illusion or yet another mirage.

I believe that good things do not come to those who wait, but to those who trust, to those who accept their shadows and light and see the importance of the contrast. Good things come to those who trust good things, and trust needs to be earned. So, I thought I was due, but I had a yet another layer to unravel. And how best to learn something but through a projection, a relationship.

I’ve come back to my mirror after a few years to add one more lie, which is this:

You can do all the work, go through all the pain, and recognise another soul as your partner, but unless they are in step, it may not come together. The crux of all this is, the one thing that is as certain as love, is free-will. Without it we cannot discover love, and without love we have no incentive to exercise our free-will.

There has always been the story-book romantic ideal of love, the illusionary but much sought after perfect match. With cyber culture rife there is now an explosion of information over the internet about twin flames, karmic relationships, the DM (Divine Masculine) and the DF (Divine Feminine), new lingo for age old romanticised perceptions. Such creative and imaginative interpretations all feel right because they are talking to your hope, as fantasy does, not your love. They are talking to fate, something outside of us, not energy, life-force and true power, something inside of us. Love exists with or without a counterpart, with or without sharing, it is intrinsic.

So to my last reflection in my mirror, my first and perhaps last co-creator, you gave me life, not because of the little miracle you planted inside, but because of your self-rejection, emotional retardation and fear, which you have chosen instead of and in spite of love, because of your free-will. You helped me to remember (not forget).  So, at the end of this journey with you, I’ve learned that I want to live, not for you, not for a child, but for me.

You are the lie that taught me how to live.

Back to the Mirror

Hope – The Chainsmokers

Love speaks a language that fear cannot hear
It gives to hands that fear will not open
It feeds a spirit that fear only starves
It embraces a body that fear only judges
Yet fear helped me feel the lack
Lack made me hungry
And hunger taught me to provide for myself


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