People are ever so clever. Everywhere I turn I see clever ideas, books, social media updates, quotes, conversations, movies etc.
I am ever so clever too.
At age 16 I was accepted into a medical degree at a prestigious university. I Refused and studied Humanities and Computer Science instead at a more progressive university. I failed the first year due to a poorly developed grasp of English and colloquial mannerisms, having been away from my English speaking home for 5 years. The knowledge and creativity were there but I did not have the means to communicate it effectively. I memorized a page of the dictionary each night and had a second go with great success. 3 years later I enrolled into my Master’s degree and was invited to present my research on Comparative Philosophy (really a disguise for why the marriage of East & West was feared and prohibited) to my peers and the wider community at an international conference in New York. My research was published in a literary journal and my M.A. changed to a PhD. I entered the workforce as a means of financial survival. I worked in a number of roles, initially as a university educator, then a journalist, then on clubs doors (I love dancing), corporate management, knowledge management, and more recently in international mining and energy corporations as a systems developer. These were my dumbest years. I was asleep at the wheel of a car on auto-pilot, bitter, scared and closed.
My outer self is highly dependent on external identifiers unique to my nationality, my look, my education, my work, my home etc. Being a highly independent individual, I took to life like a chameleon. Although I didn’t think so for most of my life, I was very lucky to be born as an outsider, forced to the fringe and spat out of any group I tried to fit into.
I opened the door to my inner truth just recently when I had an A’ha moment, a moment that took years to surface. It happened in a dream, which used to be my only portal. I often wake up with fluent sentences in a language I don’t speak on my dream journal, maps drawn of places I have never been, star systems, and Quantum formulas I need to look up and could not have possibly learned in this life. My truth is in a dynamic state, yet it taps into a universal source. We are all in that same ocean, but most are on the shore, or still swimming on the surface, taking a dip every now and then, legs dangling from the surface.
People are all searching for something, consumed by the search. I was one of them. People are all disclosing the snippets they find, sharing how they discovered how miraculous the universe is. I was one of them. The Western world is full of people who have taken on Eastern names and titles and talk about their Enlightenment. The truth is they opened to it, but they are not IN it. The search for the metaphorical philosophers stone is universal, the object is subjective and ever shifting until you realize it, but then you stop. Some have the articulation to stop and report to others how clever their latest insight is, but nobody wants to go through that portal where they know the truth actually is. Its scary, and you need to go it alone. This world has been made so that being alone is not acceptable, yet that door is the only one that is free and unlocked. Fear mongering has prevented you from opening it. Go through that door and you will laugh at the lie.
People will still tell you everything they know, billions of virtual podiums across the internet, on book shelves, in halls across this earth. I was one of them (by virtue of this website I still am..but I like to think of it as leaving breadcrumb trails out of the Cave..and a way of bleeding it all out).
Enlightenment cannot be described because it is based on transcending the subject-object dichotomy between the knower & the known.
The One, God, The Divine, Universal Truth. cannot be contrasted.
it is non-diversable.
In the end a lie needs to be told, the truth doesn’t.
Linkin Park – Bleed It Out
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