Some of you may have heard of the drama triangle (I like to call it the Karma Triangle). When on this triangle we adopt one of the three following roles:
Victim– Victims deny both their problem solving abilities and their potential for self-generated power. Instead they tend to see themselves as too fragile to handle life. Feeling hard done by, at the mercy of others or circumstances, mistreated, intrinsically bad, or they see themselves as an impotent passenger. The victim passively receives the actions of the Persecutor and Rescuer.
Rescuer- Part of the problem of rescuing is that it comes from an unconscious need to feel important or establish oneself as the savior. Taking care of others is the only way a Rescuer knows how to connect or feel worthwhile. The rescuer takes care of the Victim, and defends against the Persecutor.
Persecutor– The Persecutor is shame based. It’s the sort of shame drenched anger that results from growing up in an environment of scorn or repression. Persecutors have long ago repressed their convictions of worthlessness, covering them instead with indignant wrath and an attitude of uncaring. The persecutor attacks the Victim, and criticises the Rescuer for enabling the Victim.
When involving ourselves in a drama, an essential life learning experience, we all go through one of these roles until we take a step back and take in the whole view through an act of mindfulness.
In order to get off the Triangle, we must first decide to take responsibility for ourselves. With time and practice, you’ll recognize the signs of drama more quickly and spend less time entangled in the three roles. Celebrate each time you become more compassionate and honest with yourself and others, even if it doesn’t lead to a harmonious resolution in every situation.
This is when we can enter The Dharma triangle (my variation of the ‘Power of TED): Creator, Participant, and Teacher.
Dharma is anything we do at a conscious level that helps a us reach truth and break through the layers of illusions we have been conditioned to adopt.
Creator – being a Creator you begin to develop the capacity to envision outcomes and take steps toward manifesting these outcomes by setting intentions. Here you are in touch with your inner truth and power.
Participant – The purpose of the participant is to spark growth or development. Here you change your perspective from “Why is this happening” to looking for ways in which you can grow and expand as a result of the interaction or circumstance.
Teacher – The teacher sees you as a Creator who is capable and resourceful, and is there to empower you.
As long as we are in this incarnation we call life we can be a mindful participant and move forward, or be blind at the wheel, stuck in a negative loop
Some other reads:
- The Man Who Sold his Air Guitar: don’t be caught up in the hype
- Plato’s Cave: Are you watching shadows on the wall?
- Break the Cycle: We are all addicted, no exception
- Depression- a flag of transformation: You ARE ok
- The Law of Dis traction: What you want is not a swap for what you have
- LOA: You’re doing it wrong: Pouting and stamping your foot wont cut it