When NO means YES

We grow up in a world of cause & effect, action, reward and punishment. From an early age we develop and fine-tune our moral radar so that we can control the effect.

In such an emotionally chaotic world it can get very confusing to learn what to do in order to receive the ultimate reward, love.

From the onset one parent teaches you about earning reward, another punishes you even though you thought you were doing the right thing, another rewards you for bad behaviour, or you are rewarded all the time regardless of what you do. Some parents allow you to be, to discover, to play. These parents are true angels providing their children with a strong foundation of love. They are also rare.

Some parents just punish you for absolutely no reason you can even imagine. You may discover later in life it was their pain being acted out, but that sort of analysis isn’t conducted by children. You then start to distrust love because if your own parents, the only people who you thought you could trust to give you unconditional love, don’t, then who else possibly could. More confusion. This changes the sanctity of your inner haven. A place where you ideally first start to calibrate your radar. You start to extend the boundaries to outside the family clan.

When our radar’s are in need of tuning, we measure them against those of others. We reflect and mirror the behaviour of the wider circle, doing what you ought to do. Following the crowd because your own navigation tools are in a dusty box somewhere.

Life becomes even more confusing when you hit school, form friendships, relationships, become part of work place dynamics, travel to other countries – one norm group after another that provide definitions of what is acceptable or not. Definitions come from the outside. Its all relative. You immerse yourself in the norm, the way ‘Its done’ so that you fit in and avoid conflict. Conflict is defined as bad. Rebelling is defined as bad. Going with the flow of the norm group is defined as good. What could one person do to change this? Who’s to say anything needs changing? Who has really got time to change things when you are too busy paying the debt accumulated in acquiring possessions other’s have defined as necessary anyway?


We all seem to ignore that little niggling feeling inside which is our intuition, or inner truth vieing for our attention. When it’s a matter of life or death we tap into it with no hesitation. Sometimes our inner guides nudge us towards a state of crisis to facilitate such a situation. But when it’s a long numb exercise of conditioning, backed up by #MassOpinion, TV, social media, we turn the volume of our inner voices down. We just want some stability, some clear cut definitions and guidelines please. A happy ending like the last blockbuster we saw.

We are slowly programed to forget that we have an inbuilt radar with clear definitions of when to say yes and when to say no.

As soon as we do say NO however, we start to question. We start looking for answers.

We can intellectualise it all, analyze the fuq out of it and KNOW why this is all happening. We can become soooooo smart that we live/hide in the mind alone. To what effect?

We could get angry, shoot down anyone that tries to jam our ever changing shape into a square hole. Be a living and breathing moving target so that until we figure it all out at least no one can control us. We fight to what effect?

We can pay someone else a lot of money to give us the 10 part volume and accompanying pill bottle on why we are fuqed up. Why we are depressed, Being depressed is so common place these days, such a comfy norm, very controllable. We control the sadness to what effect?

We can join a different norm group where the bad things happening to you are explained as spiritual, highlighting you as an enlightened being who is going to get out of this rut. Your crisis is only you changing at a cellular level because holy moly you are ascending, you are outta here…you have been chosen…you will be saved….goodbye 3rd dimension.

So many other ways to handle it. But don’t do anything drastic, unless you are made of the same fabric as Nelson Mandella, or Mahatma Gandhi, or Mother Teresa. Surely there is no way you can change or dissolve a whole norm group, or even lead one without the qualities of these great leaders. Its all or nothing.

Rubbish, change your own life and the whole world will change. Choosing happiness is in your hands. As soon as you allow your inner guide a voice your life will transform. It is not a selfish act. As much as the spiritual peddlers try and convince you that shifting your perspective and changing your own world is akin to turning your back on the rest of humanity, you are not. You are in fact helping dissolve a fear based ‘groupthink.’

Stand strong. Even as a minority of one the truth is the truth. Shine your light like a beacon of hope.

We say NO because we see the visible effects of succumbing to a life that is not aligned with what we truly want. We say NO because we have had enough. We do not necessarily know what to do about it, standing on the brink without even the comfort of a cocoon to protect ourselves as we transform & shed old skin. No sign to warn the world:

‘Keep Out….Metamorphosis in Progress.’

You try and voluntarily slip back into a state of unconscious acceptance of what ‘others’ define as right, but deep down you know there is something else. Denial can only carry you so far. You say NO because you at least know what you don’t want.  Now in limbo you start looking for what to say YES to.

Stick with it. Saying No is already saying Yes.

Move from a point of view, marred by many learned behaviours, to a viewing point where you can see all sides. In that stillness watch the path appear.

Die Rakotzbrück – The Nature's Own Ring : pics

No external validation is needed. Your only guide is you…BUT…

As soon as you say YES the universe will deliver.  Some call it Grace.

Have the courage to say YES.

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Depression: A Flag of Transformation

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Mirror Mirror


Copyright © 2015 to Present TruthIAM. All rights reserved.

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